Another business trip on the 6th.
Looking at the leftover tasks from my last two trips is like staring at a pile of overdue bills.
I open the window, and the Qingming rain brings that signature shenzhen humidity：thick,sticky,and suffocating. The restlessness isn't just on the surface; it’s deep in my bones.
I tried to hide in short videos, my finger mindlessly swiping every second, but nothing stuck. Then it hit me: this cheap hit of adrenaline is useless. It only leaves my brain more exhausted from the fake high.
But the real exhaustion doesn't come from the work itself; it comes from the endless "shoulds" echoing in my head.
I should finish those urgent tasks. I should declutter this messy house instead of letting things drift along with me.
I even stare at the unread books on my shelf—【深度关系】, 【动机心理学】,and a half finished【段永平投资问答录】—while a voice inside scolds me: "These are such great books, why can't you just focus?"
Even my hobbies aren't safe. I think of how gracefully my classmates dance, and the voice starts again: "You should watch more technique videos; you should practice more during the holidays."
Nothing is done. Nothing is enough.
Today, that "internal capitalist" voice—the one obsessed with efficiency and perfection—is just too loud. I can't outargue it. So, I’ll just let it continue its interrogation.
But honestly, now that I’ve let these thoughts out, I feel a little more space inside.
The rain is still falling, and life goes on. It's time to push through that pile of work.
Hey, i am not that awful, right?
